Before I left the mainland, I had quite the unique opportunity to be at an orphanage in Port-au-Prince while they accepted new children (something that happens only once every 15 years or so at this orphanage). What an experience! I'm still processing (even now) exactly what God wanted me to take away from this, but I know it certainly gave me a sneak peak into my own child's past. How scared she must have been the day she was admitted to Mme. S's orphanage!
Starring into the crying eyes filled with wisdom that are our daughter's past, I definitely realized the need for a grace that God is still developing within me. How exactly do you console a screaming child who you fully know has every right to be upset that the mother who has been her whole world has left her to be raised by someone she's never met? At the moment I encountered this, it didn't matter that I don't fully speak the child's language...there were no words to console her anyway. I simply held her close, gently hummed and swayed while praying...crying out to the Father of the fatherless...hoping that my soul's longing to ease her pain would somehow intercede within her spirit, easing the weariness that I will never truly grasp.
Throughout the morning, I prayed for each child I bathed or helped feed or watched get weighed and measured. Prayed that God would ease their pain, use their new home to draw them into His loving arms, and provide a future for each both in this life and the next.
The scripture that kept running through my mind throughout the morning was Jeremiah 29:11:
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
See, one of the beautiful things about this orphanage I was visiting was that many of the older kids were so eager to provide for the new incoming kids. They were the ones with whom I was bathing, feeding, dressing, and weighing/measuring the new children. They could truly console the crying baby to promise them that everything really is going to be alright...and some of those words of comfort are etched into my memory for good.
Each of these older (first generation) children at this orphanage is in high school or university. Many of these first generation kids are in the university in the US or in medical school in Cuba. An orphan having much of a future at all in Haiti is unheard of! The fact that 100% of the children from this orphanage were ether already furthering their education or were preparing to do so is nothing short of a miraculous proof of God's power and provisions!
After an emotional morning (which I completely internalized! I was NOT about to make things even harder for those sweet kids!), I was dropped off at the PAP airport to meet up with an incoming team to head out to La Gonave. After waiting outside the airport for about a half hour (a thought that would have very much intimidated and flat out scarred me at one point), I easily found my incoming team and off we went. After the standard 2 hour ride in the back of the cattle truck, a quick layover at Dan & Joy's, and an hour and a half ride on the Breezy Sea, I arrived to rejoin my team on La Gonave.
I tried to spend Friday night catching up with my precious host family on La Gonave, but found myself passed out on the couch around 8 pm, completely drained from busy day of travel and emotional internalizing.
Saturday morning, I assisted with about 2 hours of gardening (yes, I did warn her that I kill everything I touch...and they still wanted me to help! ...Now that's desperation, eh? :-), my team headed out to the CV, where I got to see our girl! Oh, how sweet it always is to see my daughter after having been away for so long! I can't even explain the elation that runs through me when she comes to me with wide eyes, grin, and arms! It was SUCH a blessing to get to see her so soon after arriving on the island! It's SO hard to know she's right there and I can't be with her!
More details to come, but I imagine this is enough post to solve insomnia for most! :-) For now, please just pray that God will continue to move our adoption along so we can bring C home soon! For all the elation I feel at seeing her again, it is even harder to leave her here each time I visit. More than ever, I long for the day she gets to leave La Gonave with us! Additionally, please keep the orphans of Haiti in your prayers. That God will fill them with His love and provide for their needs in ways we can't even begin to imagine!
