If there's a road I should walk...

I'm long overdue to post an update. However, I don't even know what to say these days. As much as concerned friends and family want to ask about our adoption but have no idea what to say, I desperately want to share good news..but don't know what to say. This is taking altogether far longer than it should! With each passing day, I find more and more that my strength is gone. I must depend on the Lord. Praise God for His unfailing faithfulness! He alone will get us through this and get our girl home!

At the moment, He has me setting out on a journey. Not sure if you've heard the song Oceans by Hillsong United (certainly worth looking up if you haven't), but that has been the cry of my soul to God in these past few weeks. He's been calling me to let Him take me deeper, where my trust us without borders. I didn't realize that my trust did have borders. My faith needs to be made stronger. The only way to grow one's faith is through personal experience. God has called me to go to Haiti for a time and He's opened the necessary doors to get me there. So here I am, on a plane to Haiti, where I will remain for at least 3 weeks. You may recall that sometime back, we prayed for a specific date to pray that God would bring her home. That rapidly approaching date is April 18. That's the day i have to return from Haiti. So, tickets in hand, I bid farewell to my amazing family & friends and I'm following God's call.  Honestly I don't even know what exactly He has planned for me in Haiti, but I know He will show me as He opens the necessary doors for our adoption to move forward. So, today my heart sings a little Sidewalk Prophets':

If there's a road I should walk, help me find it. If I need to be still, give me peace for the moment. Whatever your will, whatever your will, could you help me find it?

Please join me on this journey through prayer. Please pray for:
-me: safety in this foreign land, clarity in God's will, the boldness of a lion wrapped in the gentleness of a lamb, and that God would speak in me and through me.
-Eddie: peace in our time apart, God's guidance in the things He needs to be taking care of States side, and continued encouragement that God is good and He has working all of this for good
-Catrina: peace in this time of waiting, that Good would continue to work in her to prepare for this life-changing transition, and that He will bring her home on April 18, 2014!

Celebrating an American Thanksgiving in Haiti!

We may not have turkey and dressing, but we'll be thankful indeed! Eddie and I are headed to Haiti for Thanksgiving! Can't wait to see our girl!

Over the past few weeks, we've had some ups and a lot of downs, which finally resulted in our buying plane tickets to Haiti for this week. These tickets were initially purchased with the intention of figuring out WHAT is going on with our file, what is missing, and overall where we stand. A huge thanks to our sweet church family at Vineyard Community Church for helping make this trip happen!

At first, we were supposedly fine, just waiting to exit IBESR, then we were missing a form, then later found out said form is only necessary in France; last update we heard, there is a spelling error in our file that needs to be resovled. Not sure if this is the only lingering issue, but at the moment, is the only one we know of.

One other thing that came up this week is that when we thought we had received presidential dispensation back in June (when we thought we should be exiting IBESR), we had actually received a different type of dispensation...basically, that's effectively when they started processing our file. Sigh...

The good news is, we may not need presidential dispensation anymore...which should "speed things up." I'm really not even sure what that means anymore, but I continue to trust in God's timing!

At the end of the day, we know God is bigger than all of this, His Will is going to be done one way or another, and we continue to praise Him that even if it's taking a LOT longer than we'd like, we are getting a daughter! We are praying specifically that we will exit IBESR this month! That would be absolutely amazing! Please do pray with us!

And speaking of prayer, we have also been blessed in this past week to have been put on the intercessory prayer list of the EPBOMI Chruch of Africa. I get the feeling they know all to well the forces against which we are working and it is truly humbling to have such a chain of beloved members of the body of Christ petitioning before the thrown of God on our behalf, even on the other side of the globe! Praise God for His love which is shared by the community of believers!

Once again US approved!

Yay! We officially received a new I-171H, which basically means that the USCIS has decided to overlook the fact that our file was late. Praise God that this came through! :) Praying that we see more progress soon!

Update! Our God is Awesome! ...in case you didn't know. :-)

So I began a blog post outlining all the difficulties we've faced in the last few weeks, but then got exhausted...just thinking about it... SO here's the reader's digest version. If you want more details, ask. I'll be happy to fill you in. :)

So in the past few weeks:

-Due to some unforseen circumstances and well...life...our Home Study Update wasn't completed in time; we had to request that Customs and Immigration give us an extension...they typically don't do this, but much to my surprise, they did!
-Home Study Update still wasn't done in time. The precious lady who runs the Agency that did our Home Study (they are awesome!!! Let me know if you need an adoption agency or simply to do your home study) finally got in touch with DSS on Monday (of this week) to find that they LOST it (if you aren't familiar with a Home Study, it's your entire life basically summed up in about 80 pages and stuffed in an envelope...maybe not your entire life, but the critical bits). God bless her! She scanned and emailed another copy just so DSS could get something to Customs and Immigration, albeit late and not yet properly submitted.
-Birth Parent Interview on Monday went great for birthmother...birthfather flopped. Typically this would bring the adoption to a screeching hault, but praise God our birthmother begged them to talk to the Orphanage Director, who just so happened to have the foresight to bring her orphanage license (otherwise they wouldn't have talked to her at all). God bless her! Again, she's having to go from the island of La Gonave back to Port-au-Prince a day later (mind you, this is not an easy journey to make...certainly not back and forth twice in one week). Praying that after this visit, all will be well.
-DSS found our Home Study Update in their mailroom Tuesday (after much persistence from the adoption agency, I'm sure) and forwarded it on to Customs and Immigration. We are mailing them a letter of explanation (and apology) to more or less beg them to accept it.

-Still nothing from IBESR, though we know several friends who exited. Don't get me wrong, we couldn't be happier for our friends that have exited! The concerning part is that dispensation is supposed to be the final step in IBESR and we received that months before these other families and yet they have now exited IBESR. I fully understand and recognize that no two cases are the same, but in light of this, the worries I had been suppressing that something must be wrong for our file to be stuck simply came bubbling to the surface. Praising God that I found out today that our lawyer has a meeting with IBESR on Friday to discuss our file. Praying for a good report and progress!

Honestly, in the past few weeks I saw myself slipping into a bad place. Overwhelmed by despair about the whole process and life in general, I was becoming negative and having doubts about whether or not we should really be doing this. You know, maybe I made the voice of God thing up...right...that's likely. I'm SO happy to report that God has renewed my strength! You may recall that one of the verses that spoke to me on my last trip to Haiti was Isaiah 40:31:

...but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

It took me a few weeks, but I finally got it! Last night as I was trying to process everything that's going on, God gave me the realization that I should not be focused on all He is allowing us to go through...but that this is really all about our girl! I feel like God must have something incredible in store for this child, as we have had complications every step of the way, yet rather than focus on how slowly our adoption process is crawling along, I should focus on the fact that it hasn't stopped! There have been many opportunities for our adoption to stop altogether, yet it never has. Yes, the enemy is adamantly fighting us every step of the way, but:

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. ~Psalm 23:4

I found my spirit quietly repeating this verse yesterday. We were given a devotion at Bible Study last night...guess what verse was included on it? Oh and this morning, when I started my quiet time with God, want to take a guess what verse was next for me to study? Yup! Psalm 23:4! So there is more stuff going on with our adoption than most of us can ever even comprehend. Lots to pray for (and please do!), but praise God, He has shifted my focus! As vehemently as the enemy wants to fight us, I want to praise God! (Check out one of our recent favorite praise songs and praise Him with us!) Because He is awesome and He is worthy and He is all we will ever need, we will praise Him. And as for our adoption:

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord! ~ Psalm 27:13-14

Aug/Sept Trip Overview - Sorry! Thought I published this in mid-September! BAH! Photos available on FB...

I always love seeing my daughter!  And every trip to Haiti brings the hope of movement with our adoption.  Both of these are a plus.  However, I must admit that my favorite trips to Haiti are when I go as part of a mission team!  Not just with a mission team, but as part of one!  On these trips, I feel like I’m actually able to make a difference, to serve the Lord, to give back! 

The most recent trip I was on was no exception!  My Aug/Sept trip to Haiti was as part of a contruction team from the upstate of SC.  It was led by the same faithful friend (I won’t call you out without consent, but you know who you are…and you rock!!!) who leads the January mission trip I have taken the past 3 years… he was also leading the mission team I was on when I met our daughter.  By this point, many members of this team are family!  It is so much fun to be with these guys and even more exciting that they get to be a part of our adoption process!  (They may not be as excited about that last one as I am…especially since they are often the ones dealing with a tearful Mama stretched thin from Haitian bureaucracy and the testing of patience.)

On this trip, we (well , they…until I came out to join them after my layover in PAP) were helping make many of the finishing touches to the Wesleyan Guest House.  I was able to spend each morning leveling ground for a concrete sidewalk, painting ceiling boards for the hallway and bathrooms, or helping paint newly built nightstands (designed and built by one of our team members).  The rest of the team was able to help Greg make huge headway on the overall project (which is already booked for use later this month!).  It was a blessing to see the hardwork these guys (and gal) put in and the way God blessed all our efforts.  Please keep Greg and the tight deadline for this project in your prayers!

Unfortunately I was able to do only a small part before I headed out to the CV each afternoon to visit with Catrina and the other kids.  Even so, it was such a blessing to be used even a little bit! 

Each afternoon was speant dancing, playing, Praising God, practicing my creole, helping the CV kids practice their English (Project English update overdue too!  Sorry ya’ll!), and on one fateful day…getting my hair braided.  J  It is always so much fun to hang out with the kids and just show them some of God’s unconditional love!  Loving them for who they are in Christ!  Lord – may I love them even half as well as love me?! 

Adoption Status:  Since we received dispensation in May, we are just waiting on our dossier (fancy word for TONS of paperwork) to exit IBESR (Haitian Social Services).  Apparently the director of IBESR is out on leave with a sick child.  Please pray:

-          Healing for the IBESR director’s child

-          Specifically that our dossier will exit IBESR with no problems

-          Everyone will show up for the October 21 birth parent interviews

-          USCIS will get all the information they need to issue C’s VISA

"I know the plans I have for you" says the Lord...

I made it safely to the island Friday night.  SO glad to see so many friends!  :-)

Before I left the mainland, I had quite the unique opportunity to be at an orphanage in Port-au-Prince while they accepted new children (something that happens only once every 15 years or so at this orphanage).  What an experience!  I'm still processing (even now) exactly what God wanted me to take away from this, but I know it certainly gave me a sneak peak into my own child's past.  How scared she must have been the day she was admitted to Mme. S's orphanage! 

Starring into the crying eyes filled with wisdom that are our daughter's past, I definitely realized the need for a grace that God is still developing within me.  How exactly do you console a screaming child who you fully know has every right to be upset that the mother who has been her whole world has left her to be raised by someone she's never met?  At the moment I encountered this, it didn't matter that I don't fully speak the child's language...there were no words to console her anyway.  I simply held her close, gently hummed and swayed while praying...crying out to the Father of the fatherless...hoping that my soul's longing to ease her pain would somehow intercede within her spirit, easing the weariness that I will never truly grasp. 

Throughout the morning, I prayed for each child I bathed or helped feed or watched get weighed and measured.  Prayed that God would ease their pain, use their new home to draw them into His loving arms, and provide a future for each both in this life and the next. 

The scripture that kept running through my mind throughout the morning was Jeremiah 29:11:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

See, one of the beautiful things about this orphanage I was visiting was that many of the older kids were so eager to provide for the new incoming kids.  They were the ones with whom I was bathing, feeding, dressing, and weighing/measuring the new children.  They could truly console the crying baby to promise them that everything really is going to be alright...and some of those words of comfort are etched into my memory for good. 

Each of these older (first generation) children at this orphanage is in high school or university.  Many of these first generation kids are in the university in the US or in medical school in Cuba.  An orphan having much of a future at all in Haiti is unheard of!  The fact that 100% of the children from this orphanage were ether already furthering their education or were preparing to do so is nothing short of a miraculous proof of God's power and provisions! 

After an emotional morning (which I completely internalized!  I was NOT about to make things even harder for those sweet kids!), I was dropped off at the PAP airport to meet up with an incoming team to head out to La Gonave.  After waiting outside the airport for about a half hour (a thought that would have very much intimidated and flat out scarred me at one point), I easily found my incoming team and off we went.  After the standard 2 hour ride in the back of the cattle truck, a quick layover at Dan & Joy's, and an hour and a half ride on the Breezy Sea, I arrived to rejoin my team on La Gonave.

I tried to spend Friday night catching up with my precious host family on La Gonave, but found myself passed out on the couch around 8 pm, completely drained from busy day of travel and emotional internalizing.

Saturday morning, I assisted with about 2 hours of gardening (yes, I did warn her that I kill everything I touch...and they still wanted me to help!  ...Now that's desperation, eh?  :-), my team headed out to the CV, where I got to see our girl!  Oh, how sweet it always is to see my daughter after having been away for so long!  I can't even explain the elation that runs through me when she comes to me with wide eyes, grin, and arms!  It was SUCH a blessing to get to see her so soon after arriving on the island!  It's SO hard to know she's right there and I can't be with her!

More details to come, but I imagine this is enough post to solve insomnia for most!  :-)  For now, please just pray that God will continue to move our adoption along so we can bring C home soon!  For all the elation I feel at seeing her again, it is even harder to leave her here each time I visit.  More than ever, I long for the day she gets to leave La Gonave with us!  Additionally, please keep the orphans of Haiti in your prayers.  That God will fill them with His love and provide for their needs in ways we can't even begin to imagine!

One more baby step...but we'll take it!

You'll rejoice to know that despite an unforeseen set back, we got enough money to pay for Project English! Praise God with me! :) He is SO good! He will ALWAYS come out on top!

Additionally, after many months of hard work, paper gathering, praying, and ultimately trusting God to provide, I had a successful meeting with USCIS today st the American Embassy in Port au Prince! Our I-600 has been submitted! Birth parent interviews are scheduled for October 21. Please be in prayer that both bio parents will show up at the appointed place...close to the appointed time (that's a Haiti thing...more on that later).

After frantically trying to get papers together and fervently praying that God would burden our lawyer to get the appropriate papers to our translator, I arrived safely in Haiti yesterday just after noon. I was "assisted" by three different people at the airport and passed off like a runner's baton in the less than 300 feet to the proper car, so i could tip them all...ahhh, welcome to Haiti!

I met with our translator, who had received the necessary papers less than 24 hours earlier, to get the French and English copies of our daughter's birth certificate and the minutes from our  October 2011 experience with lower court.  This was the first time i had met our translator. I must say, he has to be one of the kindest, most genuine Haitians i have met! (Let me know if you need a translator! He's awesome!)

After that, I met with our lawyer on the side of a road in the Delmas area of PAP. Here, i provided all the documentation (and money, of course) for MOI and our girl's passport...all if which she requested after 7 pm the night biggie...the night I was packing for my trip...really?! As if i just have these things laying around? Tuesday night was filled with a LOT of emotional highs and lows. God would provide, the enemy would attack, Eddie and I caught in the middle. However through God's grace and a little help from our friends at the Bair Foundation), we pulled it all together. 

Today, I can't help but hope we are closing in on the final stages of this adoption...after 32 LONG months, hope is nothing short of a miraculous gift from our loving God!

Tomorrow I head out to La Gonave to rejoin my team and to serve God with the island folks. No more mountain retreat for me, though my stay at the Bethel Guest  House has been wonderful (see the view from my room below! Awesome!). I hope to also update you more on my trip to the Embassy...once i have a keyboard, rather than a phone... :D

For now, please praise God for safe travels, His love, grace, mercy, and provisions, and the mighty work He is doing in and around me! I pray that He well continue to work through me in whatever way He prefers, and that He will continue to move our adoption along!